Ideal

Sometimes kids say the most profound things.

My younger son just completed two weeks of drama summer camp. He had a blast. He played the part of Prince Phillip in Sleeping Beauty. While he didn’t have the most lines he has had in a play before, he did get to dance with the princess, kill Maleficent, kiss the princess and save the day. Overall, a great show.

After the show we were cuddling on the couch talking about the show and about life. I told him that I let his dad know about the play but he didn’t make it. Instead of making excuses for him (again), I just held him and told him how proud I was of him.

He was quiet for a second, then he looked at me and said, “That’s why when I become a dad I want to be the ideal dad. Not perfect, because everyone makes mistakes, but ideal, as in trying to do the right thing and be there for my kids and their events.” We talked about how important it is to be at your kids’ events: drama productions, sports games, piano recitals, or whatever it is they like to do.

Being a single mom, I struggle with being there for everything he does. I support him in all of his events and I am always there for him, but somehow I never feel like it is enough. I am the “there parent”, the one who is there everyday so inevitably I am also the one who gets the attitude, the tears and the “blah” because I’m there. I’m not the special one; I’m the everyday one. I’m not the one he gets excited to see, but rather the one that he cries to when he is upset, scared or disappointed.

Funny how sometimes we get caught up in being the perfect parent, when all they want is the ideal parent. The one who tries their best and is there for them no matter what. At the end of the day, I would rather be the “there” parent who he relies on for everything.

After a few minutes he looked up at me and said, “Mom, you are an ideal mom. You aren’t always perfect, but you are always there fore me and you always try your best.” He cuddled back into my arms and I grinned – I may not be perfect, but I will take ideal anytime.

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