The Land of Denial

 

Here I am in the middle of summer. Finally unwinding from the busy school year, taking a breath, and reflecting on where I am now, and where I’m going.

I am a principal of a middle school. I love that and I am so happy and proud that I recently got a 3-year extension on my contract. I love my school, I love my teachers – they are an amazing support to me, and I absolutely love working with middle school kids – they are the best. So professional life is good – check.

I’m a PhD student. I recently completed three years of course work, with an amazingly strong cohort of six (including me) women. Each of us are conducting our research in a wide variety of areas. My research topic is still being refined, but it has become more doable, more applicable, and, in all honestly, more interesting to me. Academic & intellectual life – check.

I’m a mom. I have two amazing sons. My oldest son graduated from high school and just finished his first year of college. He’s an outstanding young man. He amazes me with his kindness and generosity, as well as his wit and humor. My younger son is in elementary school, just completed fourth grade probably ready to go to college too, but he’s going to have to wait. He’s smart. He’s funny. He’s handsome. He’s outgoing in ways that I could never be. They are the loves of my life. And yes, they are both momma’s boys. Being a good mom – check.

Then I guess that only leaves the love life/ romantic part of my life, and truth be told that is a huge mess. I feel like this is the part of my life I can’t seem to get right no matter how hard I try. But I’m stubborn and I’m not going to give up. I look back on my life a few years ago and it was completely different. At that time, I was living in the beautiful land of denial. The land where everything is wonderful and, well, if not perfect, at least pretty darn good, or so it seemed. But it is unfortunately not a real place to live, at least not forever.

 

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